Tom's Memorial Tree Dedication Day - Saturday 28th June 2008

11.30am The usual procedure is to first offer food to the monks and nuns, who take their meal at 11.30am. We don't have to provide the whole meal - the community is quite big, somewhere between 50 and 70, I think, including a number of lay residents, who do most of the cooking. But it's part of the symbiotic relationship the Buddha stipulated should exist between Sangha (ordained) and lay people: the monks offer teachings and spiritual support, whereas the lay community offer material support. Buddhist monks, in this tradition, are not allowed even to touch money, let alone own it. Their way of life is based on faith that their essential needs will be met. So we just have to each bring a large dish of something, preferably vegetarian, as most of the monks try to avoid eating meat and fish. For example, it could be a large tray of roasted vegetables, a bean or quorn casserole, or a pizza, or a salad bowl. Or you could bring a dessert or a selection of fresh fruit or individual yoghurts. We don't have to cook them ourselves, we can just buy readymade ones and heat them up at the monastery.  You should try to arrive between 10.30 and 11.00, depending on how long is needed to heat and put out the food that's brought. There is a large kitchen behind the Sala, and a long servery, which will be full of many different dishes. In addition to their own cooking team, outside lay people come on most days with food offerings, so ours will be mixed with theirs. After the monks and nuns have taken their food, the abbot will announce that today's food has been offered in memory of Tom. Buddhists believe that by supporting those who have dedicated their lives to the spiritual path, merit will go to the loved one in whose name the food is offered. They will chant a blessing. 

Then we and the other lay people will help ourselves to the food, and we can all sit together to eat.

2 p.m. We will assemble at the tree which is to be dedicated to Tom. If the weather looks inclement bring an umbrella. Anyone who wishes can contribute a few words to the ceremony, either some thoughts from your own heart, or a short reading, or a song. Please let Ray know if you would like to speak (or sing), so that he can make a programme with the order of events, which will be printed and distributed to the people present. We are not anticipating a long ceremony, so if a lot of people want to speak we may ask you to limit your contribution to one or two minutes. You may just want to say one sentence, or quote one line from a book or poem, or you may prefer to remain silent. This ceremony is for us as well as for Tom. So we want everyone to be able to share in it in whatever way feels right for you.

At some point a stone with Tom's name on it will be laid at the foot of the tree, and the monks and nuns will chant a blessing. I've attended the ceremony for a couple of people I had known, and it was very powerful and moving. The words will be chanted in Pali, the language the Buddha spoke. But the essence of it is similar to a Christian prayer, so you can use this time to hold Tom in your heart, and maybe silently pray the Lord's prayer, if you wish. We are all calling forth qualities of Goodness and Love, and these qualities are universal, connecting people of all Faiths.  We will also be placing a green ribbon (Army Green - Tom would approve!) around the tree. So a place will be marked, where we can always go to help us remember Tom and send him our prayers.

After the ceremony we will go into the Retreat Centre kitchen for a cup of tea. There is a Family Event being held over this week-end, so there will probably be some parents and children around, and some of them may attend the ceremony. (One of the songs we sing at Family Events is called: "We are all one family.") If the weather is fine, you may wish to take tea outdoors. And you are welcome to stay at the monastery for as long as you wish. It is always open to all. We will probably see visitors walking around the grounds while we are there. You can go and see the library and the Temple, but please avoid the Temple between 2pm and 4pm, as a meditation class is held in there every Saturday afternoon.